An “Irish goodbye”, is an expression used today by Americans and Englanders. It comes from the English referring to a “French leave.” The French refer to it as “leave as the English.” Germany has “to make a Polish exit”.[i] This practice seems to be along the lines of American Indian tribes referring to themselves in preeminent terms and “others” with derogatory ones. I’m guess that our “excuse my French” as a way to “apologize” for vulgar or profane language is something else in France.
While an Army chaplain a commander in a staff meeting would let go with a string of “god**** this and god***” that ending by turning to me and saying, “Excuse my French Chaplain.” I would reply, “Sir, no apology needed; you didn’t take my name in vain.” The commander himself never seem to get this – and there were several – other staff officers did.
A few months ago, I was walking late one night and witnessed a car hit a parked car and the driver flee. I was milling about with neighbors. I was the only witness, but one guy, about my age, was their translating for others, and a 30-something hippie dude came out when he heard the commotion. So the translator guy would slip into vulgarities and/or profanities and when doing so would turn to me, away from the hippie dude, and say, “Excuse my French.” Social coward that I am I wanted to say either, “Why doesn’t the hippie dude get an “apology”? Or, “What makes you think you have to apologize to me?” My point being to you, Constant Reader, that this man thought his vulgarities and/or profanities called for some sort of excusing by someone.
This used to universally be women even more so than clergy. This was still somewhat true as late as 2003. Brad Paisely sang at that time “Little Moments” in which he says, “Well, I’ll never forget the first time that I heard/ That pretty mouth say that dirty word/ And I can’t even remember now/ What she backed my truck into/ But she covered her mouth and her face got red…” Now, I hear men, women, boys, and girls uttering “dirty little” words with abandon.
Now already in 1995 this was true among biker babes and dudes. I was at the visitation of biker dude killed in a crash. His parents were my members; he was not. At the visitation there were biker folks dressed in everything from leathers to flip flops to short shorts. One was consoling the mother shaking the hands of the bereaved woman. Emblazoned across his green t-shirt was one word in big letters: F***.
Jump to 2014, I was making a hospital call. New parents were taking a hospital tour. One of the fathers had a t-shirt on brandishing that dirty big word. I was told circa 2005 that in Ireland “for feck’s sake” was as common and accepted as our “for goodness’ sake”. I suppose this is on par with the common “fricken”. (Interestingly, Word 2021 doesn’t recognize this word. This must be their one attempt to “Don’t be evil”.)
Where is all this going? I’ve noticed in even non-fiction books how the writers easily go to profanity and vulgarity. Even mainstream magazines. I subscribed to Harper’s upon retiring. This is from the May 2024 edition in a researched, nuanced, in-depth story on Hollywood called “The End of Hollywood as we Know It” (Bessner, Daniel, 27). “Profit will of course find a way; there will always be s*** to watch.”
Several years ago while hunting I commented to a son and a son-in-law on Frank’s RedHot pepper sauce slogan, “I put that $#!t on everything.” If English is your second language there is no way you explain the “rules” for the use of that 4-letter word. It is used to describe the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful. In the early 70’s, it was common to hear teenage boys refer to a teenage girl as being built like a ‘brick s***thouse”. But do note: Frank’s does, as I do, leave letters out of the word. You know what is being said, but there is a certain decorum evidenced.
That’s my point. Where we use to think some words were not for mixed company, weren’t said by ladies or gentlemen, and needed to be excused as a burp or gas would be, not anymore. How long – how short – the time did it take to get from text messages, to emoji’s, to💩? And nobody using this asks to be excused or pardoned. Nope. You are just supposed to deal with it.
[i] I read all of this first in a 1930’s sermon illustration book but as I could not find the reference I give this citation https://www.babbel.com/en/magazine/irish-goodbye#:~:text=Variations%20On%20The%20Irish%20Goodbye&text=Other%20countries%20took%20up%20the,oditi%20po%20francosko%20and%20others.
